For Love or Death
by Dumbledore's Apprentice
Summary: CHAPTER 9 UP!Hermione is deeply in love with Draco, but she must do something for him. Something that will change her life forever. Will Hermione do what Draco tells her and have his love forever, or will she back down and risk loosing Draco?
1. To Be In Love

Disclaimer: I OWN EVERYTHING!.....wait...no I don't. Damn...stupid brain!  
  
Summary: Hermione is deeply in love with Draco, but she must do something for him. Something that will change her life forever. Will Hermione do what Draco tells her and have his love forever, or will she back down and risk loosing Draco? Hermione/Draco Harry/Ginny A bit of violence and scary stuff...ooo!  
  
Done in Hermione's POV  
  
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~*~*~*~*Chapter One~*~*~*~*  
  
To Be In Love  
  
To be in love...well there isn't really words that can explain what 'to be in love' really feels like. I guess who have the feeling in your stomach whenever you see him...your heart pounds so loud your afraid everyone's going to hear...and you would do anything to get him. To be with him. To hold him. Kiss him...and so on.   
  
That's how I describe what 'to be in love' feels like, or so they say. Maybe love is just a trick of the mind...a trick to send you off to the ends of the earth for whoever it is you think you like. Maybe you aren't really in love... maybe it's just the teenage hormones take over your mind and telling you...Go on...it won't hurt anyone...talk to him...  
  
The little voice in your head telling you to go further...to talk to him...seduce him and make him your own. And you know you can't help it. You think to yourself...Yeah, that is a good idea. I should...he is gorgeous...  
  
But you do get hurt in the end. When I say hurt, I don't mean him cheating on you or breaking up in a teary end...I mean hurt. Pain...sorrow...tears...  
  
But in the end you have to sacrifice something...something dear to you. Not your friends, even though they are dear, or money. No, no...something more. Something no one could ever put a price on...  
  
Maybe something like your freedom to live? Or the love of your life? Depends on the situation and what your heart tells you, beacuse your heart can overtake the teenage hormones when you are faced with such a decision.   
  
* *   
  
I slipped through the door and tip-toed over to the empty desk. He's late...again. I sat down, resting my feet on the table in front of me. He's asked me to come every night to ask if 'I have made my decision'. It's so predictable on what he's going to ask this time.   
  
Time ticked by and still he hadn't come. I grew more impatient by the minute and was ready to snap when the door creaked open and a glint of white hair was caught in the light. I heard Draco's footsteps stop and I know he saw me. I stood up and paced the room.  
  
'Hermione...'  
  
'No, Draco...I haven't made my decision yet.' I said, a hint of annoyance in my voice.  
  
'You have to make it soon, or you can loose me forever Hermione!' Draco hissed, trying to keep his voice down. I looked at his face, half of it shining in the light...the over covered in darkness. That's what my life is like..one side covered in the light, the joy, the happiness and the other side covered in darkness, in tears, in pain. The look on Draco's face told me he was feeling the same way.  
  
'Yes...I know, but it's really not that easy!' I spat at him, not intending to sound angry at him at all.  
  
'It was easy for me!' Draco pointed out, even more annoyed than me.  
  
'But look at me, Draco! Perfect grades...Head Girl...and a muggle born! What would people think...' I said floating in and out of my worried state. 'I don't know yet!'  
  
'Other people will never know if you do! It is secret, Hermione...you know that...' Draco said desperately. The look on his face was pleading to her...telling her to go on...it won't hurt...  
  
Just like love...  
  
'I...I still need to think about it.' I said, my voice a bit shaky. I turned to face away from him, not wanting to see his face. I knew he would be angry, like every other night he had asked me. I looked down to my arm to see a bruise on my wrist where Draco had grabbed my not long ago. I pulled down my sleeve and looked away.  
  
'You have thought about it for the last month, Hermione!' Draco spat, his voice now close to my ear. I felt his rough hand reach for my wrist and I flinched. 'It only took me five seconds to decide...you know that or my father would have killed me. You will loose me forever if you don't make the right decision.'  
  
'And what is the right decision, Draco?' I spun around to face him. All the Gryffindor courage had been longing to find had reached me somehow...that night. 'Because me and you have completely different veiws on what is right and what is wrong!'  
  
Draco grabbed both my wrists and slammed me against the wall. He stared at me with that look that scared the living hell out of me. I cried as he slammed me harder against the wall. I didn't want to go through the pain again, but I loved him so much. I just couldn't leave him...he had done so much for me. He slammed me over and over, sending tears streaming down my face. A grin spread across his face and did something I would regret very much later on. I kneed him right were it hurts. He let go of my wrists and fell to the ground.  
  
'You bitch...' Draco groaned, holding his crotch.  
  
'You deserved it you sick bastard!' I kicked him in the shin and ran out of room before he could catch me.   
  
Tears poured down my face as I tried to fall asleep that night. I hurt him...my love...the one who bought me the clothes and jewels...the one who stood beside me no matter what...the one who relieved my pleasures...the one who asked me to be a Death Eater...promising me he would never leave my side and full power...  
  
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Sorry it's so short! Please review and I will try to get the second chapter up as soon as I can! 


	2. Bruises and Scars

Okay...it's been awhile...but here is the second chapter. enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: I OWN EVERYTHING!.....wait...no I don't. Damn...stupid brain!  
  
Summary: Hermione is deeply in love with Draco, but she must do something for him. Something that will change her life forever. Will Hermione do what Draco tells her and have his love forever, or will she back down and risk loosing Draco? Hermione/Draco Harry/Ginny A bit of violence and scary stuff...ooo!  
  
Done in Hermione's POV  
  
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~*~*~*~*Chapter Two~*~*~*~*  
  
Bruises and Scars  
  
I wish they would leave...I wish I could make them go away. I've searched in the library and nothing has came up to make these bruises go away. I have to wear long sleeved clothing now, because they are, well, everywhere! Harry and Ron would suspect something, and I don't want them to know about Draco and me. I don't want them to know why I am so tired in the morning because of sneaking out late or why I am so distant because of my bruises and scars.   
  
I know they can see my pain and fear every day when I wake up, when I eat, when I work on my lessons, when I study and when I fall asleep at night. Their eyes always watching, I wish I had some space to think. I need time...Draco is not please with me. I can tell...the look in his eyes. I am scared. I fear tonight. He will ask me again, I will say I need more time and then he will get me back for what I did to him last week.   
  
They are visible now. I wish I had some way to hide them. I try make-up, glamour spells and long sleeved shirts. God knows I sweat to death in them, but it's better than loosing Draco forever. He would so mad if I even showed anyone the bruises.   
  
* *  
  
My eyes fill with stinging tears as a touch the new bruise on my wrist. I can't move it...I can't write. I have to get Ron write for me, and god forbid, his writing is a mess. No wonder he gets bad marks on his tests, but I do appreciate it. He has been really friendly, well he is my friend.   
  
I guess Harry must have heard me or something, since he set a hand on my shoulder. I didn't look up, he would see my tears. I pulled down my shirt sleeve and looked straight ahead.  
  
'Hermione? Why are you crying?' Harry ask quietly. I could hear the concern in his voice. Why does he have to watch over me like I am the Queen of England? I can handle myself...I think.  
  
'I'm not. I have something in my eye.' I said quickly rubbing my eyes. I winced as my hurt wrist stretched, but I covered it up.  
  
'Then why are you sobbing?' Harry asks, kneeling beside me. I look over to him.  
  
'It hurts okay? I can't get it out!' I hissed at him and looked away. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Harry turn to Ron, who just shugged. Stubborn arses.  
  
'Okay then.' Harry said after awhile. I looked down to him, wanting to tell him everything. It hurt...I cry every night. I just want to die. All of this would stop if I told, but then Draco...I would loose him. I can't loose Draco...he's done everything for me...I just can't. 'Uh...me and Ron are going to Hogsmeade tommorow? Would you like to come along?'  
  
'No thanks. I think I will study.' I said, giving a weary smile.   
  
'With Ron's writing, good luck Mione.' Harry grinned as Ron smacked him over the head.  
  
'I have farely good writing!' Ron hissed, turning back to his paper.  
  
I grinned as Harry stood up and faced Ron. 'Yeah...farely.'  
  
Ron looked up to Harry and raised an eyebrow and stood up to Harry. 'Are you mocking me?'  
  
'Maybe I am.' Harry said, trying to hid a smile. Ron's face twitched trying to keep a straight face.   
  
'Bring it!' Ron said loudly stepping closer to Harry. The whole class turned to face Harry and Ron now, while McGonagall kept talking, not noticing that her pupils weren't paying attention.  
  
'It's already been brought.' Harry spat.  
  
'Boys!' McGonagall screeched. Harry and Ron turned to face her and I looked too. The look on their faces showed they weren't scared. 'How many times have I told, no fighting in class!'  
  
'Sorry Professor.' Ron said and sat down.   
  
'Sorry, ma'am.' Harry held his head down.  
  
'Thank-you.' McGonagall turned and headed back to the board. Harry looked to me and grinned.  
  
'Harry you could get in a lot of trouble doing that!' I snapped. 'You have your whole future to look to!'  
  
'Quit kidding, Hermione. I know you were smiling.' Harry grinned and pinched her cheek and went to sit down.  
  
**  
  
'Are you sure Hermione?' Harry asked one last time as she stood in line, while Ron and Harry waited for their names to be marked off.  
  
'Yes! I will be fine. Just go have fun. And please remember the book I asked you to bring me. Polly should know exactly what to give you if you tell her my name.' I said.  
  
'Okay. Well see you later!' Harry said as he and Ron got their names marked off and headed out the door. I waved to them and smiled.  
  
I turned around, only to bump into someone. They caught me before I hit the floor. I realized it was Draco.  
  
'Come.' Draco whispered, taking my hand and pulling me down the hall towards the library.   
  
**  
  
'What now?' I asked as we entered the library. Draco didn't answer and pulled me futher until we reached the back of the library.  
  
'Answer me Draco!' I hissed. He slapped me for talking to me in that tone of voice. I cloed my mouth and waited for him to reply.  
  
'I have had enough from you Hermione!' He spat. 'I see you crying in class and looking at your arms! I'm not blind! Your going tell them, I know it.'  
  
'Tell who?' I asked. But I knew what he was talking about. I didn't want to say it right then and there, since it would hold up the conversation longer and maybe Draco would cool down. But after saying that, it would be a long time before he cooled down.  
  
'You stupid little idiotic friends! Who else?' He hissed. I had the strongest urge to slap him right then and there, but one...I would be in the hospital wing for a whole week. Two...well there is no two since I would be the hospital wing for a whole week in a coma.   
  
I had to think of something quick. 'I'm sorry, Draco. I won't tell and I'll never cry over the bruises again.'  
  
'That's a good girl.' Draco smirked and pulled me closer to him. 'Now how about we get some adventure?'  
  
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Sorry it took so long to finish! I am having trouble in school and my computer is very screwy, but I will get as much as I can up! Please R&R!!!!!!!!!!! 


	3. Decisions, Decisions

Disclaimer: I OWN EVERYTHING!.....wait...no I don't. Damn...stupid brain!  
  
Summary: Hermione is deeply in love with Draco, but she must do something for him. Something that will change her life forever. Will Hermione do what Draco tells her and have his love forever, or will she back down and risk loosing Draco? Hermione/Draco Harry/Ginny A bit of violence and scary stuff...ooo!  
  
Done in Hermione's POV  
  
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~*~*~*~*Chapter Three~*~*~*~*  
  
Decisions, Decisions.  
  
Five months. Five fricking months of torture, pain and tears! I want to die, I want to let go of everything and just fly away from here. I want to have this heavy burden that has been pulling me behind and planting a curse on my very life to disappear. I want to die.  
  
But, I take it. I take it like anyone would take a smile from a friend, or a 'good job' on an assignment. I take it well. To well, perhaps, but I take it.  
  
And decisions. Decisions from the very beginning. First was, did I really want to go out with this snob, son-of-a-death-eater, Slytherin boy? Yes was the answer. Then, do you want to give up your marks so you can skip studying and spend time with Draco? Yes again. After, do you want to loose you virginity? Yes...again. And then, the hardest one of all....do you want to join the Dark Side? No answer.   
  
There was a deal with him. I say yes, I can stay with him for eternity and have power and control. I say no, I loose him and my mind gets erased. Still I can't decide.  
  
Everything would have been fine if I had just said no. Just a simple 'no'.  
  
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More bruises to add to my beaten body after Draco was done with me in the library. I sat in front of the fire when Harry and Ron walked in. I pulled down my sleeves and grabbed my socks and pulled them on quickly.   
  
Harry and Ron walked over, their faces red from the cold and wind, but still smiles on their faces. They sat down beside me and I gave them a quick smile.  
  
'Hey, Mione.' Harry said pulling off his heavy cloak. 'Here's your book.'  
  
I took it from him. 'Thank-you, Harry. Did you guys have fun?'  
  
'Yes, apart from the cold.' Ron said, sitting on the floor getting as close to the fire as he could. Ron looked up to me and his smile left his face. 'What's wrong Hermione? You seem very...distant lately.'  
  
'Oh...just thinking.' I said quietly, looking down at the book. Neatly wrapped in a package, I was gald Harry never saw it. I would feel so embarrased.  
  
'You look really horrible, Hermione. You're always wearing long sleeved shirts and pants. You always sit away from everyone else during classes and never come to meals. And you're always looking down the halls, as if someone was coming. Something is wrong Hermione.' Ron said sadly. 'What is it?'  
  
I jumped from my chair, anger rising. They had no right to invaid my life. They had no right to make me feel that Draco was no meant for me and he hurt me. 'I'm just fine! You always think that something is wrong when it is just fine! Stay out of my life!'  
  
I ran up to the girls dormitory, slamming the door behind me. I fell to my bed and looked over to see the book still in hand. I sat up and unwrapped it. I opened the book cover and fell back onto my bed, reading my worries away.  
  
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'I am so sorry.' I said the next day after I had yelled at Ron and Harry. 'I wasn't in the right mind.'  
  
Ron smiled and took my hand. 'Come off it, Hermione. It's okay.'  
  
'Yeah, Ron and I were talking and we decided, maybe we do smother you a bit much.' Harry gave me a smile. I tried to smile back, but my tears over took me. I can't loose Ron and Harry now, it's not good. In my worst years of my life, I need them now the most.  
  
'No! You don't smother me. I need you guys.' I finally smiled as a tear slid down my cheek. 'You are my best friends, more like brothers. I would never want you to stop looking after me.'  
  
Ron turned red and buried his head in a book. I looked to Harry and smiled, he smiled back. 'Great Hermione.' Harry said. 'It's just what I wanted to hear.'  
  
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Why is he always late? Does he want me to leave so he has an excuse to hurt me? Wait, why am I thinking this? He has treated me with respect and given me all that he can, and I am mad at him for being late? Am I that ignorant? Or do I just hate him?  
  
No, I don't hate him. I love him, like he loves me.   
  
He laid a hand on shoulder, and I looked up to him. He looked angry, like he had read my mind. Like he had known what I was thinking. Does he know?  
  
'So, your still friends with those losers.' He spat. I filled with hatred for that evil, blonde haired boy. But I didn't show it.  
  
'I would guess so.' I said blandly.   
  
'Don't use that lip with me, mud-blood.' He hissed. I turned in my seat to look at him. That was the first time he had called me a mud-blood to my face since we started dating. The blood rose to my face as my anger went beyond its boiling point. I rose from my chair, hand gripping my wand tightly.  
  
'So I'm a mud-blood now, am I?' I said furiously.   
  
'You always have been.' Draco said smoothly. I couldn't believe how hateful he had just turned. I stared at him until my eyes were sore. He never noticed, with I kind of knew, but it was all I could do.   
  
'You treated me with respect and love when we first got together. Now... you've just changed.' I felt like crying. What else was I supposed to do after this, if he did let me go? Date Seamus Finnigan again? Never. I wanted Draco.   
  
'Things get boring and useless, Hermione.' He looked at me. His eyes were hard and cold, in way I've never seen them before. I knew he was angry with me. 'You are boring and useless. You haven't made your decision. Five months, Hermione, five months it has been since I asked you, and still you say 'I need more time'. I was patient, hoping that you would make your decision in a few weeks. But it never came. Still you needed more time.' He came closer to me, his breath ragged. He was angry, very angry at me. I should have gave him the answer, I should have! 'I have given you enough time and my patience has run very low. Either I dumb you now and erase you memory, you say yes and I will keep you, or say no and I will erase you memory also. Your decision.'  
  
I knew I couldn't say more time. But I needed it. If I was to go over to the Dark Side, I wanted to at least say good-bye to my loved ones, or spend time with them. I needed more time. I didn't even have my answer.   
  
I looked him in the eye, confident and sure that it was going to work. 'Please, one more week. I promise. Please.'  
  
Draco turned from me. We stood there for a long time, not speaking. The only noise was his breathing and my pitiful attempts to hold back tears. I needed more time, even though I had five months to decide, this is not something I can decide in a second! I am Hermione Granger! What does he think people will say if they see me as a Death-eater?   
  
'One week.' He said finally. I bit back the tears. My heart lifted. One more week. I had time. 'But that is it. No more time after this. I expect your answer by the end of the week or sooner.'  
  
He walked towards the door, yanked it open and left, slamming it fiercely behind him. I fell to my knees, tears of joy streaming my blotched face. I had time. I had time.   
  
Crying and laughing at the same time, I slowly fell to the floor and closed my eyes.  
  
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One more week, 'tis all Hermione has. Haha. She will make her decision soon, but it's only chapter 3!!! I need more chapters! Any, review PWEASEEEE!!!!! 


	4. My Friends Are There For Me

Disclaimer: I OWN EVERYTHING!.....wait...no I don't. Damn...stupid brain!  
  
Summary: Hermione is deeply in love with Draco, but she must do something for him. Something that will change her life forever. Will Hermione do what Draco tells her and have his love forever, or will she back down and risk loosing Draco? Hermione/Draco Harry/Ginny A bit of violence and scary stuff...ooo!  
  
Done in Hermione's POV  
  
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~*~*~*~*Chapter Four~*~*~*~*  
  
Friends Are There For Me  
  
My friends are there for me. I know that. But I can't tell them about Draco and me. First of all, they would hate me for going out with Gryffindors worst enemy(besides Voldemort), second they would hate me even more for keeping it a secret and thirdly, if they found out about Draco asking me to the Dark Side, they would kill him. I don't want them to kill him. Some friends they would be if they killed the only person that loved me as much as I loved him.   
  
But would they help me? I wonder... Maybe they wouldn't act like the jerks I think they would act like. Well, there is only one way to find out. But I can't tell them the truth. Maybe I could put in like a question form...like a 'what if' question. They wouldn't suspect a thing. And if they ask any questions I can just tell them that it was just a question, that it will never happen. Yes, I will do that.  
  
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I sat in the common room reading my new book by the fire when I saw Ginny red faced, smiling from ear to ear and running up to me. I closed my book and shoved it into my robe.   
  
'Hermione! Hermione!' Ginny called as she came nearer. 'You won't believe it! You just won't!'  
  
'What is it?' I asked as she sat down beside me.  
  
'Harry and I worked it out, Hermione. We're back together!' I saw tears in Ginny's eyes and I knew she was really happy. I was happy for her too. Harry and Ginny had been going out for a year when they got into their first real big fight. Right in the common room. Ginny began yelling at Ron for intruding in her life and Harry went to defend him. Ginny began yelling at Harry for caring more about Ron than her and she left the common room in a fury of tears. They have been ignoring each other since their fight and everybody thought that they would never be back together again.   
  
'Oh, Ginny that is so great!' I hugged Ginny tightly. 'I am so happy for you and Harry.'  
  
'I know,' Ginny wiped away her tears. 'I can't believe it. We met in the hallway and we talked. I said I was really sorry for yelling at him about defending Ron and he told me he really loved me. I love him too, Hermione.'  
  
I smiled at Ginny. Nothing could ruin this moment. Everyone knew that Ginny and Harry were the cutest couple in the school. Even the teachers thought they were a great couple and everyone was really sad about their fight but once word got around everyone would be really happy.   
  
'That is so great Ginny. I am really happy for you.'   
  
'I have to go tell Lavender and Parvati.' Ginny jumped from her seat and ran up to the girl's dormitory.   
  
I turned back to my book when someone laid a hand on my shoulder. I looked up and saw Ron and Harry smiling down at me. I smiled back.  
  
'So Harry, I've heard the good news.' I said promptly.   
  
Ron turned to Harry his eyebrows raised. 'May I ask what 'good news' is this Hermione is talking about?'   
  
'Don't kill me for this, Ron... I know you almost did the first time.' Harry said.  
  
That had given it all way. Ron turned red at the ears and he stepped closer to Harry. 'You are not...'  
  
'Uh...surprise!' Harry said, trying to smile.  
  
'Oo...you are going to get it...' Ron began to wind up his fist.  
  
'Ron, stop it.' I stood up and lowered his hand. 'She's going to grow up sometime and you have to let that happen. Now just sit, both of you. I have to ask you a question.'  
  
They both sat down and looked at me. I cleared my throat. 'All right, don't jump to any conclusions. This is just a what if question, okay?' They both nodded. 'What if I was dating Draco Malfoy and he asked me to the Dark Side and I said yes. What would you do?'  
  
'What do you think we would do!' Ron yelled. 'We would pound the little scum bag to a pulp!' And Ron went on about how he would hurt Draco in so many ways.  
  
Harry turned to me and took my hands into his. 'I know you wouldn't just pop this question from no where Hermione. What's wrong?'  
  
He caught on. 'Nothing is wrong. I was just wondering. Harry, you worry to much.'  
  
'...and then I would shove him in front of the train...' Ron was know circling Harry and me.  
  
'Ron.' I said.  
  
'...then the stupid git would get run over and I would smack him across the head with a broom and finally make him eat slugs...'  
  
'Ron.' Harry said a little bit louder than me.  
  
'...and I will shove a whole bunch of ferrets in his mouth and hang him out of the Astronomy Tower...'  
  
'RON!' Harry and I yelled together. He stopped in the middle of his sentence and looked to us. 'Enough.'  
  
'Oh...all right.' Ron sat down. 'So why did you ask Hermione?'  
  
'Just wondering. I want to know how much you care.' I said quickly.  
  
'You know how much we care, Hermione. Why would you ever ask?' Ron said questiongly.   
  
I felt sick. This had gone futher than I expected. I stood up grabbing my book quickly. 'I gotta go to the library.' I began to run towards the portrait.   
  
'Wait! Hermione!' I heard Harry yell. I ignored him and kept running. Tears streamed my face and I choked every time I breathed. Soon I fell to my knee's, shaking, not being able to hold my self up anymore. I saw through the blurry of my tears Draco walking up to me.  
  
'Why is my kitten crying?' Draco asked in his smooth voice. I stood up and looked at him.  
  
'I hate them.' I fell into his arms.  
  
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Okay...thats the end of chapter four. Please review! also read my other stories!!! 


	5. Forgiveness

Disclaimer: I OWN EVERYTHING!.....wait...no I don't. Damn...stupid brain!  
  
Summary: Hermione is deeply in love with Draco, but she must do something for him. Something that will change her life forever. Will Hermione do what Draco tells her and have his love forever, or will she back down and risk loosing Draco? Hermione/Draco Harry/Ginny A bit of violence and scary stuff...ooo!  
  
Done in Hermione's POV  
  
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~*~*~*~*Chapter Five~*~*~*~*  
  
Forgiveness  
  
Forgive and forget. That's what everyone says. But do you really forget? If it was something so horrible, how could you forget? I don't think that the Dark Lord will ask for forgiveness, get it and then everyone forget. Many lives were taken and families ruined or torn apart. No one could forget that. I don't even think the Dark Lord would apolgize.   
  
People say these things, but it's not true. None of it's real. People can forgive, but they never forget.   
  
But sometimes, you have to make an exception.  
  
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I woke up not knowing where I was. I felt dizzy and sat up, rather to quickly. Someone pushed me down, but I couldn't see who it was.  
  
'Just lay there Miss Granger. You had a nasty fall down by the dungeons, I suppose.' said a stern voice somewhere in the distance.  
  
I groaned as my head throbbed with pain. I tried to rub it, just to ease the pain, but my arm wouldn't move.  
  
Suddenly it felt as though I was dropped from a tall building and landed right on the bed. Everything came into focus and I could see I was in the Hospital Wing and that Madam Pomfrey was hovering over me.  
  
'What am I doing here?' I asked, my head hurting even more.  
  
'You fell, I would guess. Professor Snape saw you lying on the floor and rushed you up here immediatly. Says he needs to see you after your mended up.' Madam Pomfrey turned her back from me as me jaw dropped.  
  
'Why does he need to see me?' I said, trying to sound normal. He needed to see me? Why? Did I do something wrong? Oh god, I did do something wrong.   
  
'He didn't say, but it sounded urgent. I asked him if he knew what happened to you, but he just left.' Madam Pomfrey scowled.   
  
'Well, can I leave?' I asked hopefully.  
  
Madam Pomfrey looked at me, her eyes wide with horror as though I had said a nasty word. 'I suppose. You seem fine. Yes, leave.'  
  
I shot out of bed and dashed out of the Hospital Wing and down towards the dungeons.   
  
*  
  
I knocked on the door and it flew open. Professor Snape stood in the doorway, a look on his face that I had never seen before. He looked worried.  
  
'Come in Granger.' Snape hissed, but I spotted the fear in his voice. 'Parkinson, leave. Now.'  
  
I saw Pansy Parkinson stand up and walk out of the room, looking at me as though I was a disease as she left.  
  
'Ignore her. Sit.' Snape sat down at his desk and I took a seat opposite of him.  
  
He surveyed me as though trying to see into me. I tensed in my chair, waiting for what was about to come. What was about to come, I did not know...  
  
'Have you been seeing Draco?' Snape asked.  
  
I relaxed, a little. 'Yes- Wait... How do you know?'  
  
'Stay away from him. I am warning you know, his father tricked me once and Draco can do the same. Leave him, I don't care how you do it, but do it soon. You are in danger.' I saw the look on his face and I could hear in his voice. He was scared.  
  
'But if I leave him, he will erase my memory or even kill me. I know too much... but still I love him.' I said. I couldn't believe I was spilling my heart out to my least favourite teacher.  
  
'You don't love him, Hermione. He only wants you to think that. To make you come with him to the Dark Side. Lucius Malfoy pretended to be my friend and took me over. Just when I had joined, I had realized I had been framed. You have to leave Draco no matter what. And I will make sure he doesn't lay another hand on you.' Snape finished and looked at me with a pleading in his eyes.  
  
'Your just try to make me unhappy, you just want to ruin what I have.' I said quietly.  
  
'Are you happy now? Do you wake up in the morning, not wanting to be alive? Do you live your days in fear and spend your nights awake, thinking how it has all gone wrong? Do you regret saying yes?'   
  
I looked up at him, answering yes to all the questions. 'I do... I do and I don't want to anymore.' My bottom lip began to tremble. 'I don't want to be in pain anymore.'  
  
'I know you don't. I felt the same way, but I never realized until it was too late. Hermione,' He reached out and grabbed my hand. It was so warm compared to my cold one. 'You have a chance. You can back away and I will do everything I can to make sure you are never hurt again.'   
  
I looked at him for the longest time, thinking... will he really help me? Will he actually get my life back together?  
  
'All right,' I tried to smile, but my bottom lip only trembled more. 'I'll do it.'  
  
Snape smiled at me. It wasn't his evil smile or the smirk that made you wince... it was a warm smile. I had just seen a whole new Snape.   
  
'Good. First you must tell Weasley and Potter about everything. They may be mad, but having them know is a good thing. I never got that chance with my friends.' Snape looked down for a moment and then back to me.  
  
'What about Draco?' I asked.  
  
'Wait until tomorrow. Ask him down to the dungeons, right outside my room. Hit the door with your foot and I will come out and deal with him.' Snape let go of my hand finally, but I didn't want him too.  
  
Then something came over me. I leaned across the table and kissed Snape. He seemed tense and I could tell his eyes were open, but then he soon relaxed into the kiss.   
  
I didn't know what made me do it, but I just did it.  
  
Finally I pulled away and looked at him for the longest time until I realized what I had just done.  
  
'Oh my god... I am so sorry Professor Snape, I don't know what happened...'  
  
He reached for my hand again. 'Call me Severus.'   
  
'I-I... oh my god, why did I do that? I am so sorry...' I mumbled, not looking away from him. I couldn't stop looking at him.  
  
'It's okay, Hermione. Just as long as we forget and tell no one, it will be like it never happened.'  
  
I nodded, feeling numb all over. I have just kissed the Potions Master.  
  
'Now go and talk to Potter and Weasley. Tell them alot about Draco and you.' Snape let go of my hand and smiled at me. 'It's a secret between you and me.'   
  
'Yes... okay.' I nodded again, left the room and fell to the floor.   
  
I have just kissed the Potions Master and it felt good.  
  
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Ooh! Surprise surprise!! A giant twist wasn't there? Don't worry, Snape and Hermione are not going to be together! It's just a one time thing. Okay review time! 


	6. Forgeting

Disclaimer: I OWN EVERYTHING!.....wait...no I don't. Damn...stupid brain!  
  
Summary: Hermione is deeply in love with Draco, but she must do something for him. Something that will change her life forever. Will Hermione do what Draco tells her and have his love forever, or will she back down and risk loosing Draco and maybe her life? Hermione/Draco Harry/Ginny A bit of violence and scary stuff...ooo!  
  
Done in Hermione's POV  
  
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~*~*~*~*Chapter Six~*~*~*~*  
  
Forgeting  
  
Okay, I am trying to forget what I just did but I can't! It won't leave me alone! Why didn't I just push him away! I want to tell someone, but god... I can't. What would people say? I know what they would say... a whole lot of swear words!   
  
And I'm trying to forget something else. Well more than one thing actually...   
  
First, the never-ceasing battle between Gryffidnors and Slytherins. Between Dark and Light. Between me and Snape... How can I trust him now if I've never trusted him before? What if has Draco hurt me more? He seemed concerned yesterday... Maybe it was all a lie, just to get me hurt? I wouldn't doubt it for a second. But I have to make up my mind...  
  
And I have to make up my mind about Draco too. Should I have Snape expell him from school for hurting me? Would Draco hate me forever and hunt me down for the rest of my life? Why couldn't have I just said no! But his smile... his eyes... his lips... his darkness... I can't help it. It's an addiction. I can't get off of it.   
  
I can't make up my mind on my life...  
  
*  
  
I breathed in deeply. I closed my eyes and tried to stay calm.   
  
'Harry... Ron, we need to talk,' I said quietly. 'Now.'  
  
Harry and Ron looked up from their studies and to me. The both had a mix of puzzlement and concern on their faces. I tried to avoid their eyes, I hated looking people in the eye when I tell them something I have kept from them. Well, it only happens once in a blue moon... like the time-turner, but this is way different. Way, way different.  
  
'Is something wrong?' asked Ron.  
  
'Of course there is, Ron. She wouldn't have been so serious about it if something wasn't wrong.' Harry said matter-of-factly.   
  
Ron glared at Harry and then looked back to me.  
  
'If it's about homework, lay off it. You won't die because you didn't get full marks or higher... if possible.' Ron said grumpily.  
  
'This is not about homework, Ron! You always think it's about homework! I do have feelings Ron! You don't even understand!' I yelled.  
  
Ron looked taken back at my sudden burst of anger. Harry looked at me and so did other people in the common room. I felt me face turn red and I looked to me feet.  
  
'Sorry Ron. It's... It's just really hard to tell you about this thing...' I said slowly. I sat down in the extra chair beside the still shocked Ron.  
  
'It's OK Hermione. You shouldn't be afraid to tell us something.' said Harry, smiling at me.  
  
'For this, I should be.' I let out a hollow laugh, a small hollow laugh. I felt tears in my eyes. 'I should tell you this in The Owlery... where we have some privacy and no one can hear us.'   
  
'Why can't no one hear us?' Ron asked.  
  
'You'll see. Just come with me.' I stood and walked to the portrait hole without looking to see if Ron and Harry were following.  
  
*  
  
'Can you tell us now what is wrong?' Ron demanded, his arms folded across his chest.  
  
'OK... sit down. You'll need to for this.' Ron and Harry sat down on the floor. 'Okay, I have been lying to you for around five months now. I have kept secrets that you should know, since you are my best friends. I have wanted to tell you, but I couldn't. I was being taken over by money and my own self greed and what I thought was the love of my life. I wanted to leave, I wanted to say no to him, but then I would be left without my memory or even dead. I was scared to leave, but I thought I was so in love with him, I couldn't leave.  
  
'I was blinded with money, jewels and my own pleasures. I thought he loved me, because I loved me. But now I know the truth. He only wants me to come with him to his side... to the Dark Side. He promised he would love me forever and give me everything I ever wanted in life... and I believed him for awhile. But then, my old self was coming through again. For some reason, I couldn't say no and I couldn't say yes. I thought I was coming back... I really did. But then I said yes.  
  
'Now I have only a few days left until he takes me away to the Dark Side. But then Professor Snape found out and he is willing to help me. He is willing to set me free again and never have to talk to Draco again. I want to believe Snape, but the history of Gryffidnors and Slytherins is stopping me. Snape said the first step is to tell you two so I can have someone beside me to help me. I don't know what to do...' I stopped talking. Their silence scared me.  
  
I looked at them. Harry was looking at the cracks in the wall, not saying a word and Ron had seemed to be hit upside the head. His mouth hung open to its full extent and it looked as though his eyes would pop out of his head at any moment.  
  
'I can't believe you...' Ron said blankly.   
  
'I am so sorry...' I mumbled.  
  
'Sorry isn't going to cut it, Hermione.' Harry said to me sharply, but he kept looking into the fire.  
  
'It's... It's hard for me too... I wasn't in the right mind. You have to believe me! Malfoy took me over with jewels and diamonds, new robes and books. He tricked me, Harry!' I cried desperatly. I wanted them to understand, I wanted them to know how I felt...  
  
'He tricked you Hermione?' Harry yelled, making Ron jump from his spot. Harry was now staring at me with fury in his eyes. 'How? Did he cast a spell on you to make you bow down to him and do everything he wanted to you? You didn't say anything about that when you told us for a whole five months you lied to us! We were your friends, we could have helped you! Could have made you see he didn't trick you-'  
  
'He tricked me Harry! Just like his father tricked Snape! Snape said that if I trust him and follow our plan-'   
  
'Oh, you trust Snape now!' Ron joined in all of a sudden. His shocked face was replaced with a fresh look of fury. 'Trust our enemy more than your own friends! Well if it's like this, then you won't need to bother to kepp secrets from us any more.'  
  
'What do you mean?' I asked, my voice low. I knew what was the coming... the worst that could have happened to me in a time like this...  
  
'Our friendship is through, Hermione!' Harry yelled loudly, sending owls flying from their posts. 'It's over! You have gone over the edge this time! Not telling us about the Time-Turner in the third year-'  
  
'I promised McGonagall I wouldn't-'  
  
'-Not telling us about Krum in the fourth year-'  
  
'You wouldn't have understood-'  
  
'And now this... going behind our backs... supposedly being tricked by Malfoy and him dragging off to the Dark Side. I believe this story as much as I believe that Sirius murdered my parents.' Harry looked angry, but I could see something inside his eyes... past the anger... he was scared... but of what?  
  
'You don't understand, Harry! You just don't know what it's like!' I screamed just as loud as him. My throat started to hurt from the yelling and choking on hot tears that now fell down my face.   
  
'I do understand! Voldemort, Hermione, think about it! He used me! He used me in the fifth year! And what you said, Malfoy was not using you!' Harry yelled.  
  
Everything went queit. Ron was still glaring at me with so much rage, his eyes could have burned a hole through a brick wall. Harry was breathing hard and fast. An owl fluttered past us and into the night. I stared at my feet, letting the tears fall. It was over... the worst had come to me... worse than Draco's beatings... worse than being locked inside myself... my friends are gone... they can't help me escape...   
  
'Com'n Ron, lets go.' Harry said after awhile.   
  
I looked up. 'Wait... without you, I can't leave him. I can't escape from him... please, don't go.'  
  
Harry stared at me as though I was a horrible disease. He grabbed Ron by the arm. 'Lets go.'  
  
I watched them walk away... walk away from me and my last chance of surviving... my last chance of being able to come back to the light...  
  
My legs turned to jelly and I shook all over. I fell to the floor and watched everything turn to black.  
  
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All right! Done!!!!!! Yay! I have the end all planned out.... muahahaha...you shall never know till the end! I don't know how long the story will be... maybe around 10 chapters... well review and tell me what you think? Would Harry, Ron and Hermione say those kind of things? Whats your opnion? 


	7. Made Up My Mind

Disclaimer: I OWN EVERYTHING!.....wait...no I don't. Damn...stupid brain!  
  
Summary: Hermione is deeply in love with Draco, but she must do something for him. Something that will change her life forever. Will Hermione do what Draco tells her and have his love forever, or will she back down and risk loosing Draco and maybe her life? Hermione/Draco Harry/Ginny A bit of violence and scary stuff...ooo!  
  
Done in Hermione's POV  
  
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~*~*~*~*Chapter Seven~*~*~*~*  
  
Made Up My Mind  
  
I have made up my mind. I will go along with the plan, even though I'm not sure if it will work or not...  
  
I don't need Ron and Harry to help me. They can be ignorant jerks for all I care. I don't care that they don't care...   
  
Maybe I'm being the ignorant jerk? I didn't give them a chance? No... they didn't understand me. They just made me feel even worse than I already do. They're the ignorant jerks... not me.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I walked down the dungeon halls, feeling more and more nervous with each step. I trembled slightly as a listened to my steps echo in the empty corridors. I felt empty too... I was empty. Without Ron and Harry, it seems, I can't do this. I still can turn back. Now. Leave the school forever. I know enough to live on my own.   
  
I stopped in the hall, looked back and hestitated. I could go back. I could run. It seems like such a good plan...  
  
I shook my head and kept walking, trying to keep the idea of fleeing out of my head. This was going to work... it had to work...  
  
I arrived at the dungeon door. I was surprised to arrive so quickly, caught up in my thoughts and such. Full of anxiety, fear and nervousness, I knocked on the door and waited.   
  
It opened slowly and I saw Severus look out from behind the door. He smiled lightly and I smiled back, forcefully. He opened the door fully and I stepped in, blinded for a second by the sudden light that filled the room. I looked around and saw the room lit by what seemed a thousand candles.   
  
As I looked around the room more, I noticed that the windows had been boarded off anf all the tables and chairs were gone. Chains and hackles I had never noticed before were bolted to the wall on my right. A table of bottles of what seemed potions sat to my left. I looked at the potions for awhile, noticing that they were all different colours, textures and in different shaped bottles. A milky-white liquid floated in an oval shaped bottle, but it didn't seems liquid. It went from liquid, to gas to solid and then back to liquid. Another was acid green, in a square bottle and it seemed like a gas. I walked over to the table, reaching out for the bottle...  
  
The candles flickered and I turned around quickly. No one was there. I looked around everywhere, searching into the dark corners and in high places, but nothing seemed to be there. Then I noticed that Severus wasn't there.  
  
'Severus?' I called out.  
  
No answer. The room stayed silent and still.  
  
'Severus?' I called again. My lip trembled when there was still silence surronding me.   
  
'You look beautiful when your scared.' said a cold voice from behind me.  
  
I spun around and saw a shadow from behind the table. My breath caught in my throat.  
  
'Who is it?' I choked out.  
  
A heard a rustling of robes and a flicker of blonde hair from the corner not to far from the table.  
  
'Draco...' I breathed.   
  
I stepped out to run for him, but I was pulled back. An arm wrapped around the waist and another across my chest. I looked up and saw Severus looking straight ahead, a blank look on his face.  
  
'You betrayed me?' I cried loudly. 'You lousy, filthy, good for nothing traitor!' I screamed.  
  
I heard a cold laugh from behind me. I twisted and turned, trying to see Draco... to strangle him... watch him die a painful death...  
  
'Draco!' I screamed. 'Draco, come and face me, you greasy, filthy Slytherin!'  
  
'My, my Hermione... you never acted like this before.' said Draco in a fake sad voice.   
  
He appeared in front of me suddenly. I glared at him with all my hate and anger that was now building up in me. I wanted to hit him... hurt him... make him scream in pain like he made me. He grinned his sly grin at me and grabbed my chin. I spat at him and it hit him in the face.  
  
'That was before I knew you were a jackass.' I snarled.  
  
Draco grinned lazily at me. He wiped his face off with the edge of his cloak. He looked at me lazily.   
  
'You don't have to be hateful to me, Hermione. Remember, I gave you everything you ever wanted. Money, new robes, jewels... and other things.' Draco added quietly. He stepped towards me and kissed me softly on the lips. I struggled to try and get him off, but Snape held me back.  
  
'Get off of me, you disease.' I hissed.  
  
'That was harsh, Hermione.' muttered Draco. He backed away and walked over to the table with the potions on it. He picked up a purple one and swirled it around a few times. He looked at for awhile, popped open the top and took a drink from it. He wiped his lips and turned his back on me. 'Hermione...'  
  
'Yes.' I spat angrily.   
  
'I don't know why you said no. Any girl would have taken the chance... say yes, stay with me forever and be on the stronger side. Say no, loose me and die. But you said no and I let you change your mind. I gave you the time and still...' Draco let out a small, cold laugh. 'Well, that will change tonight.'  
  
I looked at Draco confused for a moment. What did he mean? How will it change? I'm not changing my mind... Then it dawned on me. My stomach dropped sickengly.   
  
'DRACO! NO!' I screamed. I started kicking, trying to free my self. Snape tightened his grip on me as a I squirmed in his arms. 'LET ME GO! LET ME GO!'  
  
'Settle, sweetheart. It won't hurt if you just agree with me.' Draco said quietly as he stepped near me.  
  
Tears fell down my face as I looked into his cold eyes. 'Don't hurt me... not again...'  
  
'Sorry, love... Professor, the chains.' ordered Draco. He pointed to the chains and hackles I had noticed earlier. I looked at Draco fearfully as Snape dragged me to the chains.   
  
Snape whispered something that sounded like a spell and lifted from his arms, floated along the wall and Snape said another incantation. My arms floated up and the chains tied around my wrists. Then my legs floated apart and were tied my chains also. I was now suspened by the tight chains that cut into my wrists. I already felt warm blood trickle down my arm.   
  
'You know, Hermione... you are beautiful when you want to be. That's why I picked you. When I saw you in the Head Girls bathroom, I knew you were more than the mud-blood, book worm.' He paced back and forth, below me, holding his chin as though thinking  
  
'You-You saw me?' I sputtered. My stomach clenced even more.   
  
I could see Draco smirked. 'Yes. Anyway, since you were so smart, I thought you were be the perfect addition to the Dark Side. So, I gave you books, robes, jewels, money... anything you wanted, I was at your service. I wanted you, we needed you. I thought you would say yes, I had you in the palm of my hand... I thought I had you under a trance... But you said no. Anger filled me. I was angry my plan hadn't worked, so I beat you. I hoped this would make you change your mind, but still you resisted.' Draco looked up at me, his face blank. 'I gave you chances, privlages... everything and yet you said no. This is your last chance, Hermione. Your last chance to change your mind. You've had long enough to think about it. If you say yes, you have me forever and you come to the Dark Side with me. And if you say no... you die, tonight. What is your decision.'  
  
I looked helplessly at Snape, but he looked away. I didn't look at Draco... I was afraid to look at him. Whatever I say, I will never see my family again. I will never see Hogwarts again. I will be wanted all over the wizarding world. I will be known as a Death-eater. My once called friends will be against me... even Harry and Ron. I will never see Harry and Ron again. Tears fell down my face, and dripped onto the floor below.  
  
I looked at Draco, who stood below, looking very impatiently at me. He looked at Snape, who nodded and took a potion from the table, carried it over to me carefully and opened the bottle.  
  
'What... what is that?' I asked nervously.   
  
Draco didn't say anything as Snape began to drip the potion onto the feet. Instantly a burning sensation ran through my body, followed by stinging and then a feeling of certain death. Snape backed away as I began to scream. The stinging sensation flowed through my veins, slowly and painfully. I felt it go to every inch of my body, as though it knew that I would scream and it took its time to make sure I do...  
  
'Imentio Crascuin. A deadly potion, found in the Restricted Section. Orginally found in a dead man's pocket, not to far from Hogsmeade... or so I've heard.' Draco smirked evilly. I shut my eyes tightly, hoping thr pain would go away. 'It is used for slow and painful deaths. Torture, mainly. You can reverse it. It was banned by the Ministry after a man killed his wife. Nobody knows if he meant to use it on purpose or it was an accident. Personally, I think he meant to use it... Anyway, back to the point. Since you will not answer me, I would think your answer is no. So I just assume...'  
  
'Wait...' I said hoarsly. My body ached. It was hell to even speak but I didn't want to die. 'Let... me... say... my... decision...'  
  
Draco looked at me, his grey, cold eyes gleaming in the candle light, his platinum blonde hair shining in the semi-darkness. He looked at me hopefully as I prepared to say my answer.  
  
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Okay Chapter 7 done! What do you think Hermione said? Tell me in your reviews!!! 


	8. New Beginnings

Oh my gawd, I know it has been a long time. I am so sorry! I've been trying to figure out how to end this and stuff. I think two more chapters should do the trick. I am so sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe I waited that long to finish this. Oh man, Anyway here it is(If you're not mad at me and still reading my pathetic story)!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~*~*~*Chapter 8*~*~*~  
  
New Beginnings  
  
The sun shone through the open window as my eyes fluttered open. I sighed and rolled over in my bed, squeezing my eyes shut. I couldn't fall asleep, the soft ruffling of the curtains covering the open window kept me awake, and so did the noisy street below the window.  
  
I pushed myself out of bed and walked over to the open window and looked down. The streets of Diagon Alley were already busy with early morning shoppers, getting into the stores before the afternoon rush or shop owners hurrying to work. A sick feeling plopped into my stomach as she watched some children run past the window, laughing and shouting with joy.  
  
I heard someone walking around behind me. I turned and looked at my husband, who was gathering his clothes into a pile and putting them on.  
  
'I don't know if I can do this.' I said.  
  
'You have too. Like I have said a million times before, you chose this life, you stick with it.' he yawned dully, pulling on his trousers and grabbing his cloak.  
  
I looked back out the window one last time and snapped it shut. I walked over to the closet, pulled out my trousers and shirt, pulled off my nightgown and put on my trousers and shirt. I took my cloak from the closet and pulled it on slowly. I didn't want to do this.  
  
Suddenly, pain shot through my left forearm. She tugged up my cloak and shirt, and peered down at the skull, a snake slithering out from it's mouth. The sight frightened me, the pain frightened me, being a Death-eater frightened me. I don't know why I did it, I can't take the pain. It was glowing a bright green and stung greatly. I turned to Draco, who was smiling lightly.  
  
'He's calling.' said Draco.  
  
I nodded slowly, gulping deeply, getting ready for what was coming next. 'All right. Let's go.'  
  
With a pop we both disappeared from the room and off towards The Malfoy Mansion.  
  
*  
  
We both landed neatly in the large drawing room, where about a hundred other Death-eaters stood, waiting also for something to happen. I clutched my mask tightly in my hand as Draco led me to the center of the group. There stood Lucius Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange, the oldest of the Death- eater group that hadn't been killed off.  
  
'All right!' bellowed Lucius over the crowd. 'You have all come to our Lord's command, and we are all here. Welcome back, fellow Death-eaters.'  
  
A sly grin spread across Lucius' face as the crowd applauded and shouted at the welcome. Bellatrix raised her hand and everyone fell silent.  
  
'War is upon us once again,' roared Bellatrix. Her voice echoed across the large drawing room. 'Dumbledore and his army are weak. They believe our Master is gone. Harry Potter is off guard, unprotected by Dumbledore. Now is our chance to make our move.'  
  
The crowd shouted and screamed loudly.  
  
'Now is our chance to show them who truly rules this world.'  
  
The crowd grew louder.  
  
'Now is our chance for victory.'  
  
The noise was deafening and so loud that Bellatrix was almost drown out by all the shouting.  
  
'NOW IS OUR CHANCE FOR GREATNESS!' bellowed Bellatrix as the crowd of Death- eaters grew so loud that I couldn't even hear myself thinking.  
  
'YOU CAN'T HAVE VICTORY WITHOUT SUFFERING.' roared Lucius over the crowd. 'YOU CAN'T HAVE VICTORY WITHOUT PAIN. YOU CAN'T HAVE VICTORY WITHOUT LOSS. YOU AREN'T WORTHY FOR VICTORY UNTIL YOU HAVE PAID THE PRICE!'  
  
I couldn't take it anymore. I looked around, at all the cheering faces, and was reminded of Ron and Harry. The faces of the Death-eaters turned into the faces of all my friends, them suffering... in pain... dying...  
  
I turned away, burying my face into my hands. I looked up and saw the jeering faces of all of the Death-eaters. I pushed through them, running away from the crowd. I wasn't noticed when I ran through the open doors of the drawing room and down the long empty halls of the Malfoy Manor.  
  
I ran, my footsteps echoing through the stone walls. I knew that Draco would notice I'm gone and come looking for me. I would have to get out of here. This was his home. He knows the house better than I do.  
  
I stopped, looking around and figuring out where I was. I saw a door, ran to it and yanked it open. It was a cavernous room, glowing a eerie yellow and gray, which burned my eyes. I slammed the door shut and my eyes instantly felt better.  
  
I began to run again. Left, right, right, left. I didn't know where I was going, but I kept running. Then I stopped. I looked around for a second and then remembered I could Apparate. Feeling stupid, I left the Manor with a pop and ended up outside the Manor.  
  
The land stretched on forever, a wall of trees off in the distance. A flower bed surrounded the large house, setting off color, apart from the green of the grass and the black of the Manor. I was smiling.  
  
Then I heard something in the distance. A rumbling. I looked towards the trees. At first I thought it was the carriages of the Beaxbatons, but that was insane. Why would they becoming here? Then I saw them. Running.  
  
Hundreds upon hundreds of wizards and witches running towards the Manor. It was the other side coming to fight. I was frozen. My friends were in that crowd of wizards and witches. I looked at the Manor. If I told the Death- eaters that they were here and coming, I would be loyal and Draco would see me worthy...  
  
But if I didn't tell, my friends would have a surprise attack, but they would still have a slim chance of winning.  
  
I was caught between love and friends. Between me and what Draco wants me to be. Without thinking, I Apparated back into the drawing room, which was still loud with stamping and cheers. I pushed myself through the crowd, climbed onto the desk where Lucius and Bellatrix stood.  
  
'THEY'RE HERE!' I screamed. 'THEY'RE COMING! THE OTHER SIDE IS READY TO FIGHT!'  
  
Everyone went quiet. They didn't believe me. 'IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME, LOOK OUT THE WINDOW!'  
  
Sure enough, they did and by now the other side could be seen running towards the Manor. Lucius turned around, slipped on his mask and raised his arms. 'LET THE WAR BEGAN!'  
  
As I watched my fellow Death-eaters charge out of the door, slipping on their masks and pulling out their wands, I knew what I had done was not going to be good either way.  
  
I slipped on my mask, pulled out my wand and followed the others out of the drawing room, feeling very sick.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It has been a very very long wait for you guys. I needed to work out this chapter and what her decision would be. And here you go! One more chapter and it's all over!!! review!!! 


	9. Through the Mask

Thank-you so much for the reviews! Two reviews the day after I posted chapter 8! Thank-you! And I've decided, the story will be longer. You may have to wait again, but it'll be worth it when it's over. Anyway, here you go! Chapter 9!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~*~*~*Chapter 9*~*~*~ Through the Mask  
  
Looking through a mask at your friends fighting for their lives was not the nicest thing in the world to do. My face was covered by my present, my future and my cheap love that was the mask of a Death-eater. As I fought along with Draco and the others, I felt like I wanted to crawl into a corner, close my eyes and wait for it to be over. Maybe it was just a horrible, horrible dream...  
  
But it wasn't.  
  
I was in the middle of the battling, watching my fellow students and friends fire deadly spells at me, not knowing who I was. I wanted to ripe off that stupid plastic piece of crap and tell them where I had been for those two years they spent looking for me.  
  
They all thought I was dead.  
  
Inside me, I laughed. Dead. I wish. It would be better than what I was going through.  
  
'Avada Kedavra!' someone screamed from beside me.  
  
I turned me attention back to the battle that was erupting around me. I saw Ginny Weasley running towards me, her eyes flared and wand out and ready. I knew she was going to fire at me, and I didn't want to die. I didn't want to.  
  
The words had barely gotten out of her mouth for the killing curse when I fired the Cruciatus curse right at her chest.  
  
I watched as she fell to the ground screaming, withering in pain, tears streaming down her elegant face...  
  
I gagged. I stared into Ginny's eyes, that were filled with fear and pain, and I knew Ginny was looking into my eyes, but she didn't know who I was. I felt like vomiting on the spot.  
  
'GINNY!' I heard a familiar voice scream.  
  
I spun around, and saw Ron running my direction, his wand ready just like Ginny's. I froze. Not Ron, not Ron, please I don't want to hurt Ron...  
  
But I didn't have to make that decision. Draco jumped in front of me, and fired a complex spell that stunned the opponent for many hours. Ron fell rigid to the ground as I looked over Draco's shoulder.  
  
Draco turned to me and said, 'You can't freeze up. These people are not your friends anymore, they are your enemies. I saw what you did to the Weasley girl.' I could tell that he was grinning evilly under that horrid mask of his. 'Keep it up.' With that, he ran away, searching for more unlucky opponents to torture.  
  
I breathed deeply and looked at Ron. His face was stuck on a look of confusion and fear. I wanted to cry. My head was screaming to run away from it all, but my legs were stuck to the ground.  
  
Then I heard a terrible crashing sound. I looked to the sky, though no one else did. Dark clouds had formed in the sky, covering the sun and the blue sky. Rain pounded down on top of everyone, though no one took notice. I looked back at Ron, his red hair and numerous freckles visible through the thick rain.  
  
I looked up, hesitated for a moment then ran. I ran as fast as I could. No one took notice, but I pushed past the dueling witches and wizards, over top the lifeless or stunned bodies. I heard a scream over the rain, and remembered Ginny. Would she turn out to be just like Neville's parents? I retched, stopping for a moment then looked back at the battle.  
  
I started to cry then. This wasn't how it was supposed to be, my head cried, It was supposed to be peaceful and great. Why does all the bad things have to happen?  
  
I thought back to the Muggle world, where wars had happened for the stupidest reasons. And when I had gotten my acceptance letter to Hogwarts, I thought that since it was magical and something I only dreamed about, I thought it would be good. I thought it would be different from the Muggle world. Why does Voldemort have to be so stupid about gaining power? He has magic and that is more than any Muggle would want, why does he have to kill innocent people for it?  
  
And then, for a second only, the battle seemed to stop. As I stared at all the witches and wizards, I saw a unusual silhouette in the rain, striding ever so calmly over to one pair of dueler's. I knew right away who it was. Lord Voldemort. My eyes scanned over to the two wizards, and I screamed, though it was never heard.  
  
Harry was dueling fiercely with another Death-eater, not having noticed Voldemort was creeping up behind him. I wanted to run to Harry and save him, but then I couldn't. My legs felt like lead and I knew if I took one more step, I would vomit.  
  
So helplessly, I watched Voldemort creep up on Harry, who was still unaware of it until Neville screamed for him to look out. Harry turned around, shocked and confused as Neville fell to the ground, lifeless, from the Death-eater who was dueling Harry just a moment before.  
  
Harry stood still, his wand clutched in his hand. Voldemort stepped up to Harry, his eyes glowing through the rain and his face like a ghost against a black wall. It looked like Harry was trying to say something, but Voldemort's cold laugh echoed around the grounds, cutting of Harry's words.  
  
Voldemort said something and grabbed Harry's arm. I heard Harry scream as tensed up in pain, his wand falling the ground. Everyone seem to stop and watch, gathering a circle around the two. I heard loud, booming laughter from the crowd and my heart thumped in my chest. I ran up to the crowd, pushing through with difficulty until I reached the front, and watched Voldemort and Harry.  
  
'L-LET ME GO!' Harry screamed, his eyes screwed up in pain.  
  
Voldemort laughed. 'Do you really think that I will listen to you? You are nothing more than a absent minded boy who cries about his parents way to much.'  
  
More laughter erupted around me. I clamped my eyes shut and waited for the laughter to stop. My mind raced with a million things, over and over. Memories of Harry and Ron, sitting by the common room fire. The years I missed of sitting, laughing, not giving care in the world with my to best friends. Tears were stinging my eyes, but I kept them closed. I didn't want to remember. Gradually, it quit and I opened my eyes again.  
  
I stepped back in shock, hitting a fellow Death-eater behind me, who was still laughing a deep croaky laugh.  
  
Harry and Voldemort were gone.  
  
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Okay? Got it done quickly. I hope you like it and please review! 


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